My Challenge,

How can I promote harmony and still allow healthy conflict? Idealists go out of their way to promote harmony, I can make peace and take it upon myself to mediate disputes. But when it's possible, and that's seldom, I try to avoid them.

Conflict doesn't have to be destructive. Yes there is such a thing, it's called healthy conflict. Even heated exchanges have proven to be useful when we play fairly. Part of my challenge as a human being is learning to tolerate uncertainty and being disliked. As someone who espouses a small dose of creativity, I know that my best ideas come from long periods of frustration and being blocked. I also know that some of my relationships are blocked and require a creative conflict to move forward.

I can be an approval junkie. I want others to recognize and appreciate my accomplishments and sacrifices I can make for them. Unfortunately most people either ignore or take for granted what I give. It sounds cliche, but the truth is the only one that can satisfy this need is me. I need to try taking time each day to feel pride in the things I have done.

Getting close to people is difficult. People are wary about letting others into their lives. I tend to be too sesitive to the walls that people put up around themselves. I worry that they dont really love me or that they will abandon me. The key is to take relationships slowly and try to sort out when my worries are grounded and when I am simply just assuming the worse.

I am a people pleaser. I can be so focused on keeping other people happy that I sometimes lose sight of taking care of myself and my own needs. Again it may sound cliche but the only one that can satisfy my own need for approval is myself.