Exchange Change

"To expect harm and to see attack gets your running legs going, which sets you up for less disappointment. You grow and still react to people as hurtful. Freedom comes from not seeing malicious intention where none is intended.

Hold back on concluding the presence of malicious intent. Doubt your supposition and before you draw a conclusion, find out the facts of motivation. Use outside information and underplay your predilection for injury.

We are afraid of change and repeat behaviors that wreck our lives. Sameness to sameness. If we try to change, we do so at a snail's pace that never arrives or move so hurriedly that little change occurs. Lightning speed protects us from being snared, cornered and hurt. We are afraid to hear the cry of what was left behind, an expectation from our hypersensitive parents who overreacted to our changes. We learn from this that all we do is hurtful... We worry more when we are changing a known habit. Will we lose our friends? We look for and find responses of pain. We hurry past our feelings, so fraught with anxiety, guilt and grief.

In change, there is losing and gaining. We need to mourn our losses and to grow from the rotting wood of renounced ways. The additional pain we feel is what we inflict on ourselves in anticipation of the critical reactions..."
-Elan Golomb


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