I fell in love with a woman who is independent by nature, but she didn't expect to merge her life with mine. Keeping seperate friends, for example, was supposed to give us more to talk about when we were together.

When I connect with someone it's immediate, intense and on multiple levels. I realize though that love can be lifelong, so I need to avoid the urges to control it and learn to simply let it take me where it will.

Physical chemistry is key so I follow my instincts and trust them. I know who I find attractive and the things that turn me on. If there is no passion in that kiss, it won't work. I have to share the most important aspects of my life with her and not feel that I have to hold back. The past is the past, but I should be open and honest about my life. If I love her, then I'll want to know about her hopes and dreams and do all that I can to help bring them to fruition.

Good sex is important, but unfortunately it wanes over time. Hence, affection and companionship are as important, if not more, than sex. In love, I try to make commitments. No one should be kept to wait indefinitely. Yet at the same time rushing into commitments adds pressure to the relationship.


& Ideals

My hopes and dreams are important to me, so I take other people's dreams seriously too. My friends and family know that they can come to me for support and realism. I have an idea of what I want in life, I anticipate and plan around obstacles and I'm a sharp problem solver who is uneasily discouraged. I can be overly modest and I tend to sell myself short. I have a way of seeing the best in people and I'm able to accept them with their shortcomings.


In Control

"The way I seize an image the moment it's shaped in my mind: Trap it like a bird and pin it at once to a canvas. Afterward I tame it to master it. Then I gradually bring it under control to develop it."
-Joan Miro


Healthy Shame

"Healthy shame reminds us that we are less than what we ought to be and less than what we want to be. If we feel shame it is because we are fortunate enough to recognize our faults. Those ashamed by these unflattering qualities should be grateful... Healthy shame is good; it reminds us of the changes we need to make within ourselves..."
-Beverly Engel



"We all fall and make mistakes, the challenge is to remain open to grace when we do and find compassion and patience for ourselves"
-1/21/05 @ Yoga

Then You Have Loved

"Unhappiness is easier to convey than happiness. In misery we're aware of our existence, even if it is a monsterous ego: 'this pain is mine only', 'this nerve winces me alone'. However, it is happiness which annihilates us; we lose our identity. Words of love have been used by saints to describe their visions of God, and so, I suppose, we use terms of prayer, meditation, and contemplation to explain the intensity of love... Therein, we also surrender memory, intellect, intelligence, and experience deprivation, the noche oscura, and are seldom rewarded peace."
-Graham Greene


Richer or Poorer, Sickness & Health

"You must surrender yourself first to extravegance. Poverty is apt to strike suddenly like influenza, it is well to have a few memories of extravegance in store for bad times."
-Aunt Augusta



"Man has places in his heart which do not yet exist, and into them enters suffering in order that they may have existence."
-Leon Bloy