Free Will

Gee it's great to be back home, as Simon and Garfunkel strum the chords to "Keep the Customer Satisfied". Home is where I wanna be!

Played golf this morning, for my first outing in almost a month I played a smashing good game. I'll take 8 over this time of year. Good things to come for the season? Let us hope! I really can't complain this far. Life is good! Today, was a throw back of sorts, it brought me back about a month and a half ago when I was in South Carolina, an abundant transcended my life in January. Although I have felt the smooth transition, moving on. I admit, reluctantly, that I guess I'm still attached to the knots and the twine. This may be overreaction, but often imagination is better than reality.

Right now I'm catching up on the Ford Championsip at Doral. Over a year ago I learnt from my friend Margot that the horroscopes in the Village Voice by Rob Brezsny, are probably the most entertaining horroscopes written in New York. Not that I believe in horroscopes or anything, I never have... ooh, Tiger just moved within two of Mickelson, this is really shaping into a real heavy weight bout... Reading my horroscope is not, I repeat: is not a regular practice I am committed to, but when I am passing time like today after a good round on the links, I find them amusing. Since my trip to South Carolina, I had always wanted to research what my horroscope was that week:

Leo, week of January 13, 2005
"Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby is the best Hollywood movie of 2004, said A.O. Scott in the New York Times. But Salon.com's Charles Taylor panned the film, calling it leaden and boring, "a compendium of every cliché from every bad boxing melodrama ever made." I suspect that you will get equally contradictory reviews for your life and work in the coming week, Leo. For instance, some people may regard you as a magician who has transformed rot into splendor, while others may think of you as a dabbler with too much self-esteem. Both are wrong. More importantly, their opinions, whether good or bad, shouldn't concern you. Be your own judge."
Even more eye opening than that was the horroscope of my partner, the one who accompanied me that week, Gemini:
"In his book, Chronicles: Volume 1, famed Gemini bard Bob Dylan claims that he never wanted to be the voice of his generation, let alone a prophet of protest leading a charge to overthrow the corrupt empire. "I really was never any more than a folk musician who gazed into the gray mist with tear-blinded eyes," he writes. "My deepest dream was a house on a tree-lined block with a white picket fence, pink roses in the backyard." I believe many of you Geminis will thrive in the coming nine months if you pursue a similarly modest path. Beginning next November, you may be called on to raise some beautiful and benevolent hell, but in the short run I advise you to bolster your foundations with tender loving care."
"What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears?" Regardless, I am happy! And thank you Mike for helping me put that in perspective! People, neither lovers, friends nor family have the power to harness your happiness, that's an illusion. Read Richard Bach! You may experience joy with someone, but seldom is your happiness someone else's responsibility. When you do experience that joy hold fast to it, bite down on it with your molars and that's why I don't walk away. I just try to keep the customer satisfied, and it's the same old story.

Tiger, just shot a 63 for the day, maybe the round of the tournament! He and Mickelson will probably be paired tomorrow.


"the lock upon my___garden gate's a snail"

it's cold out, so is your hair___under a rock tied in knots
spring runs beneath the snow___the basis of the unknown
a chat with my brother mike___once upon the other night
without inclination to go___harkens back a week or so
there's something to be said___anger, sadness and happiness
inspire emotion/distress___"energy"? physics strike a match
caterpillar sheds its skin___to find a butterfly within
challenge creates purpose___the sake of better persons
love fails lost independence___embraces prey of dependence
inklings to attribute an escape___a sword unsheathed? too late
fool enlists her storyteller___she'll irrate at the story she aint
you piece of shit grand scam___wait, procastinate or neve
go cold, delusional wonder___abuse to justify your unthinkable
you are but a span of time___refine your senses lest dirt opines
first there is a mountain ___then there is no mountian

-'s:. 3r

March 2: * * * out of 4

Amusing, original and derbys!

The only story to tell here is that one of my favorite resturants (Ivo & Lulu's) didn't live up to your expectations. Mussels were good though, right? If I had had a derby I'd have tipped it to you, for being a good sport!


Walk Away

"A black and white photograph
Of me up the garden path
Wrapped up in my football scarf
It sits here in my hand

And there mother smothered me
And how she would mother me
She knew how to suffer me
Like all mothers can

Now she is everywhere

The comb that runs through my hair

My posture on a chair
But that’s not who I am

He ran from the arguments

And sat on the garden fence
And lived in the passing tense
That fell from her lips

He tended the house so well

And each time she rang his bell
He’d climb back from where he fell

And gathered his wits

Now I fear the mold is mine

A vibration shakes my spine

As I walk the crooked line
Reality hits

So let me walk free from you

You know that you want me to
Let me try something new
Let me walk away

If it’s not one thing it’s your mother

How I love her
But it’s not so easy to say

Please won’t you let me walk away

So let me walk on my own

And finish my ice cream cone

If we are to make it home
Then all will be well

Look see I’m a father now

I’m raising my own eyebrow
And being in my own row

And making life hell

This is me, see here I am

Doing the best that I can

This life has a subtle plan

But you couldn’t tell"
-Chris Difford


friends go and come

dina knows somehow
to spring surprise upon me
when she does funny

    who knew that she would
    reveal to me unlike before?
    every time awaits
our friendship is on
the verge of two years going
then's when fondness peaked
    tonight it is wanes on
    tomorrow it switches off none
    so she weaves her weave

a solemn friend spared from
dc's ghost, dislike dc!
ugly, tasteless town

    what is her intent
    dc tastes awful!
everything she does has
a flare for the unexpected
ems here, fui bokra
    life's parentheses
    we will speak again, i know
    goodnight, good friend ciao

i feel our advice helped
us both find what we needed
right here's where we'll be


"Paranoia; Everybody's Comin' to Get Me..."


I have known you since we were kids, I will always admire your idealism and furthermore I appreciate your admiration for Marx and his socialist ideals. I'm impressed with your pragmatic source of politics and identity. Even though the buck doesn't stop with me at Marxist teachings and philosophies, I still value these values as part of a contribution to the theories and lessons passed down to us from the worldly philosophers, those that came before him and those who came after him. They each provided us a basis and to each there is good and bad in them for us to decide, and as such their powerful instruction based on human observations were upgraded every so often.

In order for any of us to interpret their ideals and apply them to our own rightly inherited principles handed down to us from experience, one needs a coherent understanding about where they came from to understand how they got where they saw only so far into the progression of manknd socially and economically. To benefit our mind's with wisdom and transform idle time in positive fashion, a composition of biographical data, including their upbringings, their families, their religions, and their educational backgrounds (be them formal or otherwise) is helpful. As such it is necessary to examine whom their students were and/or those these teachings inspired. To appreciate the distance further which provided insight into visions that exceeded, what in this case is a "Marxist" ideology. This, I am not saying to provoke you to switch party lines, but in order for you to defend yourself, your principles and ideals in circles which you would like persuade others to identify with your own ideologies, be prepared to refute the concepts you encounter and consider to be misnomers. Otherwise your message will fall upon deaf ears.

Do you think that Marx was oblivious to Smith? Do you think Marx and Ricardo put down Smith and felt satisfied? God bless those people who read the Wealth of Nations and don't reach their fill. What is so enlightening about the "invisible hand", and why give up hope in seeking further enlightnement? Likewise should we all pick up Das Kapital and believe all has been said, and nothing remains? If so that's an extreme position we'll need to disagree on. When nothing remains life dies. We both know that Marx, who was a student for the better part of his life, he'd be rolling in his grave if it were believed that his legacy was dead. Marx transcended thought and inspired others not rest, but instead pursue happiness not just for yourself but also for others as well.

The truest of thinkers of political economy, they all proivided insights into blueprints meant to advance the socio-economio-political breathing beating the hearts of human benefit -in the literal sense, first and foremost our children and children's children. Must one really corner himself into the belief that there were agent provocateurs intentionally sent out amongst us to propogate the destruction of man and his progression against history? Nay! Why go through all of that when all we have to do is just stop having babies!?

And as I started this as a friend who has known you for the better part of your life, cast your judgement upon me based on my intentions; the default: love, sharing and someone who would watch your back today as I would before, not your paranoia. I have given you nothing for you to try my trust. The same way as you have to me.